Произведение «Usual Magic (written by Tatyana Lain)»
Тип: Произведение
Раздел: Переводы
Тематика: Переводы
Автор:
Оценка: 5
Баллы: 16
Читатели: 806 +1
Дата:
Предисловие:
Данный текст является переводом на английский язык рассказа Татьяны Лаин "Обычное волшебство"

Usual Magic (written by Tatyana Lain)

It was the early spring, when it arose from a kidney, and soon the big maple tree had got one more young green leaf. This small leaf differed from other leaves of a maple. Mother Nature left its sign on his surface. On the right side of the leaf, closer to edges, it was possible to consider the accurate image of a small heart. But the small leaf didn’t know about this singularity. Like the other leaves of the maple he grew, rejoiced to rain and sunlight, matured and in the early autumn grew old and became yellow. But even when it became yellow, the small light heart was seen on the bright-yellow surface of the leaf. Once strong wind has risen and  an unusual leaf has been torn off from a native branch. It has turned round and round in the air and has softly fallen on the earth covered with a set of other maple leaves. So our leaf had to lay on the earth, slowly turning into a fragile brown lump, but Providence has prepared another destiny for him.
It was a warm spring day. A little girl with her mother were walking past the maple tree. The girl collected the fallen-down leaves to present them to her mother. The girl saw a large bright yellow leaf, lifted it and gasped: on the right side of a leaf there was the small light heart. The baby ran to the mother to show a surprising find to her. Both of them were surprised very much and rejoiced watching such an unusual leaf. But the girl was too little and very soon she became tired. She asked her mother to take her on hands where she fell asleep. The girl’s little fist with collected leaves in it unclenched and the leaved fell on the road. The child was sleeping on the mother’s shoulder without feeling and watching anything. And the leaf remained to lie on the sidewalk.
A sad girl was walking the same road in the afternoon. Her gait was slow and her head was lowered down. She was thinking about something, and sometimes her thoughts were interrupted by sad sighs. Suddenly the girl’s look stopped on the maple leaves, which were scattered on the sidewalk. One maple leaf was bigger than others and the girl considered a heart on it. The girl picked up the unusual leaf, smiled and even kissed it. Then the girl found a book in her handbag and carefully put the unusual find between pages.
Something happened in her soul, she ceased to be sad and to sigh, her gait became easy and fast and the light smile touched her lips.
A letter was waiting for her at home and this letter made the girl very happy. She got a leaf from the book, put it on the table and smiling happily she sat down to write the answer. That time her little sister ran into the room, saw a surprising leaf on the table, took it imperceptible and carried it into her room. The little girl saw how her elder sister was smiling and stroking the leaf and decided to do something pleasant for her, painting the leaf with bright water colours.
The little sister painted the leaf and put it on the window sill. She put it near the opened window because she wanted the paints to dry up faster. But the wind blew, the window opened wide and the leaf flew in the street. It fell on the ground.
Then the rain began and it washed away all bright paints. Only the small light heart left on the leaf. The heart left in itself surprise and delight of the first girl, who had found the unusual leaf, joy of the girl who at last received the long-awaited letter and the sincere aspiration of her sister, who wanted to make life brighter and nicer.
But the travel of the leaf didn’t come to an end. The rain had washed the leaf and it became bright yellow again.
The evening came. The maple leaf with small heart shone alone under the city lamp which gave mild yellow light around. The young man hurried in oncological hospital. His mother, who was seriously ill, was placed into this hospital. The son knew that her disease is irreversible and this thought made him very sad and unhappy. That’s why every evening after work he hurried to his mother to sit near her, to encourage, to talk to her, holding her cool small palm in his hand. The look of the young man stopped on the lonely maple leaf which was sending warm sunlight. The young man lifted him and hemmed with astonishment: on the right side of the leaf he clearly could see the light heart.
He didn’t know why but suddenly he became quiet and still. He had a feeling that his mother wasn't seriously sick. She only slightly was unwell. With a smile he came to his mother’s hospital chamber and showed her a leaf:
- Look at it, mother! This is the sign from heaven! As you can see, it is an unusual leaf. Look, there is a heart on it! And do you know what does it mean? It means that you soon will be healthy! I have found this leaf not for nothing!
The woman took a fragile gift in her hand and a warm wave of love and hope ran from her hand to her heart. She looked at the light heart on the maple leaf and suddenly believed that she would recover. Mother looked at her son and whispered:
- I believe. I believe, my boy, I will recover. Give me only a little time.
The bright yellow leaf with a heart was placed in a frame, and this frame was put on the little table near the woman’s bed.
… Four months passed. The son carried his mother home. The strengthened and smiling woman strong pressed to herself a frame with the cracked, yellow maple leaf on which right side the dimmed heart was hardly seen.
Nature whims, you will tell … Or perhaps not?
Perhaps this is a usual magic. The simplest magic which is called “self-confidence”.
Maybe the leaf helped a little…
And O’Henry doesn’t play any role in this story…
Реклама
Обсуждение
     13:45 29.10.2018 (1)


Good afternoon, Magda!

It's me very like!

Good  luck!!
Respectfully!!


Yosef
     14:20 29.10.2018 (1)
Good afternoon, Yosef!
I'm very glad to see you here.
It is very nice of you to estimate my translation.

Ну, и пара слов по-русски.
Мне этот перевод проверили издатели одного американского детского журнала.
Оказалось, то незначительные ошибки всё же есть.
Это нормально, я думаю. О том, что ошибки делают даже носители языка - говорить даже не приходится. Что же взять с тех, для кого английский является неродным языком? 
Сейчас, когда наступили каникулы, надеюсь, что подправлю текст, опираясь на их комментарии и исправления.

With best regards!
Magda
     18:47 30.10.2018
1
Добрый вечер, Магда!

Вы правы,  чужой язык – не родной!
Даже при хорошем знании, -  всегда будут огрехи  в устной и письменной речи.  Когда-то  я читал  у В. Набокова, как трудно  было  ему,  прекрасно  знавшему оба языка, переводить  «Лолиту» с английского на русский. Для этого есть много причин, связанных с особенностями каждого языка.

Но задача усложняется ещё больше при переводе стихов на неродной язык,
особенно на английский, из-за непривычных для нас транскрипции и произношения.

Б. Пастернак, например,  предпочитал свободные переводы.

Но… охота – пуще неволи…  И, преодолевая трудности, пытаюсь делать вольные переводы своих  стихов!!
А оценку - пусть даёт читатель…

Иногда для проверки  рифмы я заглядываю в Webster’s  Compact Rhyming  Dictionary
50 000  entries, USA

Если будет время и желание, можете ознакомиться на Фабуле с ещё одним моим  переводом собственного произведения:

DON'T BURN THE BRIDGES, DON'T BURN
НЕ СЖИГАЙТЕ МОСТОВ, НЕ СЖИГАЙТЕ

Желаю вдохновения и удачи!


     14:35 11.04.2018 (1)
1
Ну а я перевела свои сочинения:

Iren and Mary walk in the forest. Iren sweetly to climb for the honey, but she hurstly to jump down.
And Mary is a top-climber, but she want saltly.

       *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *

Miss Lamb exlaimed:
- A lamb no must to jbserve the law, it writed by wolfs in order don-t to destroy friend by friend!
Miss Flower objected:
- The flower is inoffensive, it must not from people nothing.
(Vysotskiy sing:"It-s about us, which, to the devil, wolfs").
     14:56 11.04.2018 (1)
1
Перевод - вещь сложная. Начинающие переводчики об этом не задумываются, переводят дословно, не пытаясь сохранить стиль автора. А на самом деле, чем дольше переводишь - тем больше раздумываешь и исправляешь: это почти так же как писать на родном языке серьёзную прозу.
     17:29 11.04.2018 (1)
1
ВАХ! Спасибо тебе огромное! Перевод выложу под рассказом.
     17:36 11.04.2018 (1)
2
Да мне-то за что? Не было бы твоего рассказа, не пришла бы мне идея перевести его.  Теперь ребятишкам дам почитать. До конца четверти ещё есть время!
     17:45 11.04.2018
 Я рада, Магда.Спасибо тебе огромное!
Реклама